I felt so ashamed when I fell ill.
How could I have let this happen?
This must have been my own stupid fault.
It’s not that simple. I know this now.
Health in our modern world with so many stressors and disruptions, and with so much conflicting information, can be really, really complicated.
There’s nutrition, environment, genetics, epigenetics, toxins, chemicals, radiation, microbes, parasites, bacteria and viruses. There’s stress, unprocessed emotions, trauma, lifestyle, personality, energy and the mind-body-soul-connection.
And I’m probably still missing loads.
Health is a complex interaction of many factors.
And at the same time, answers can be so simple but overlooked.
It takes time to get to the root of ourselves.
It takes time to get back in touch with our bodies.
Because sadly, we are not educated to be.
I feel like speaking up about my healing journey, because sometimes I can sense pitty. Pitty has such a low vibration and it makes me feel uncomfortable. It takes away power. The victim mentality doesn't resonate with me.
If anything, I am a warrior.
And warriors want to be rooted for.
Yes, healing is messy.
But I am not a mess.
I have never felt so clear and strong in my life.
It was difficult to realize that people stopped hearing me.
I heard the unspoken: you’re the confused girl that got sick. What do you know? We are the experts, you silly little girl. We know better.
While this was about ME!
And the voice inside MY body told me we were missing the root cause.
I wasn't confused because being confused is my natural mental state, I was confused because the answers that I got didn't make any sense.
And so, I cried with relief when I finally found a practitioner who ran the right tests. The lab-results confirmed that the voice inside my body had been right all along (isn't she always?). It just took some time to find someone who understood.
If you feel misunderstood on your healing journey, you need to know: you are not worthless and powerless just because you are not feeling well. Let people know how you want to be treated. It's your call. This is about you.
Speak up. Make us learn from your experience.
Transform shame into growth.
Taboo into curiosity.
Fear into faith and acceptance.
Did you know wolves move in packs with the sick and elderly up front? They set the pace. They decide. We should learn from wolves.
If you have a loved one that is struggling with their health, I hope you can find it in you to put them up front. Cheer them on.
Help them believe in themselves.
Help them reclaim their power.
Help them rediscover their intuition.
Support them in doing what feels right to them.
Don’t obsess about them getting better, but give them what they need right now. In this moment. Big fat chance this will be love, space and trust. Humans dwell great on it. That alone, makes people feel so much better.
I don’t mean to say that you cannot share possible solutions. Yes, talk about it - it might be great advice! But don’t hold it against them if it doesn't feel right to them. Because what that actually means is: “I don't trust your judgement - not even about yourself.”
And that alone, makes people feel terrible.
People can only ever do what feels right to them.
Can you support your loved ones in their ways?
Can you love them fearlessly, regardless of their choices?
Can you step aside and let them drive?
I hope so.
They deserve it.
They are stronger than you might think.
illustration by Hülya Özdemir